When family makes you cry

A close friend of the family informed me that her Daddy passed yesterday.  He has been in the hospital for some time and she has been struggling to be a support for her mother who lives miles away.  Her mother is her father’s sole caretaker.  The torment that the already grief-stricken process was taking on the two women has been difficult to witness.  My friend has been through so much in the past few years.  In fact, I had the nerve to ask God why He was putting her through all of this.  His reply was that it was to get someone else’s attention.  Well, He certainly succeeded in getting my attention.

The two of us are really close.  I call her my lighter skinned twin.  We joke that we look nothing alike in the natural but we closely resemble the same person in the spirit.  It’s a wonder that God himself can keep us straight.  Due to our close spiritual connect, we pray for eachother often.  Just before the holidays, we were praying for our fathers.  We prayed for her father’s healing and we prayed for my father’s forgiving.  Now that God has answered her prayer with bringing her father to his heavenly home, I must say I’m curious what God has in store for our prayers concerning my Daddy.

Why is it that our vulnerability to tears seems to increase as we get older?

Shouldn’t you cry less the farther you get from the cradle.  But it’s almost like the closer you get to the casket, you cry more.  Nothing swells the tear ducts quite like when something happens in your family.  Deaths in the family are hard.  But death is expected.  Quarrels and division in family is unbearably heartbreaking.

I prayed for peace in my family.  When I prayed for peace, I also envisioned what peace would look like.  That very prayer has taught me to release my expectations of what the answer from God would look like.  I have to remember the words of Hillary Scott, “You are God and I am not.”

Is there a good purpose for tears? If we thought of them more beneficial then perhaps we wouldn’t hate them so much.  I do dislike tears.  I hate what they do to my face and my eyes.  I call them ugly cries.


My friend says she can’t bear to talk via a phone call right now and I understand.  I don’t want to make her more upset than she is already.  Perhaps the only peace I find in dealing with family hurts is that I am loved by a father who knows how to dry my tears.  I think God doesn’t like tears either which is why He has so many words of comfort in the Bible.

Today the words of John 14 give me comfort.  “He will not leave me comfortless” (John:18).  Another translation of the same scripture says that God does not leave us as orphans. With that thought in mind, I thank God that my friend doesn’t feel abandoned or less a daughter today at the loss of her natural father.

Prayer: Blessed Father, thank you for calling us your own.  We run to you with tears in our eyes but thank you that you help us rise above the pain and brokenness.  Family makes us cry sometimes but Hallelujah, I’m still a part of the family!